That...freakin kills!

You know what sucks? Liking someone that doesn't like you back. Maybe this sounds far fetched but I have never had feelings for someone that didn't feel the same way about me. I had no idea what that was like until now. This...is not cool. I thought I was immune to this kind of thing. Boy was I wrong. I have to formulate a plan to shake this off. I'm strong, I'm independent...Who am I kidding? I'm a loser. The mere sound of his voice makes my heart skip a beat and want to puke all at the same time. I want to kiss him and then punch him in the face.

Is that normal? Is that healthy to want to punch someone in the face? I mean really punch em in the face. Like a brass knuckle punch. I just want to break like two molars. I think that would make it all better. That takes a lot of force to break molars. I could do it for sure.

I just had an epiphany! (I've always wanted to say that) I have been told what I needed to hear to get over this. Wow! I knew it would hurt but I also feels good. HE DOESN'T LIKE ME! I can't take it personally. We really don't have anything in common. We have a completely different belief system and completely different priority's. We would end up killing each other. I think I fell because he fit into what I thought I wanted which really is not what I want at all. Plus I am noticing that he has a tendency to be attracted to ugly girls and we all know I don't fit into that category. (I'm laughing too)

So in conclusion I will now get over my silly love crush. We are friends and that is good enough for me.

*please not that this blog was purely for my emotional release only. Any redeeming entertainment factors were lost as soon as I started typing. "I apologize to anyone who was offended by my fictional characters...Chrisagon, The Philosopher of Evil, and the Skull Sealer."

Can you pee and walk at the same time?

Yes! You can. I witnessed it the other night. I have officially made someone laugh so hard that they peed their pants. In public, in a parking lot, while they were walking. Do you even know the power that is associated with that? I made a human being lose control of a bodily function...while walking!! That is really hard to do. I tried it once and I couldn't. Don't ask. That is a story for another time. It has been a goal of mine for a long time, a life goal if you will, to make a person wet themselves through laughter and now it has finally come to fruition. I am the WOMAN! Really, what more do I need to accomplish? This must be what it feels like to have a child. Not physically cause that is friggin painful, but emotionally it has to be the same. I complete me.

Why do I take pleasure in these types of things? I am quasi-evil I guess. I mean I take pleasure in making people pee from laughter which is not mean but I also take pleasure in using the hot water in the sink with out turning it back to cold so when one of my coworkers goes to use it they get burned. That's sick! Really sick. Just the mere thought of it is making me laugh hysterectomy. (I mean hysterically) Crap! I think I just peed. I hate karma!

You Suck

No one hurt my fragile little mind right now
it's tangled up and don't you know
the pussycat in me is curling up right now
But I'll bloom
from the inside out

But right now there's dust on my guitar
you fuck
and it's all your fault
Oh, you paralyze my mind and for that you suck
Uh Huh...

Freedoms on my lips today and I'm
feeling pissed
But my timeless thoughts and ageless minds
won't let you get away
And your guilty little conscience
won't either

We all take risks we all fall hard
but you, you went too far
and I'm too plush for your pathetic digs
and you're the only one you'll scar

But right now there's dust on my guitar
you fuck
and its all your fault
Oh, you paralyze my mind and for that you suck...

The Murmurs

I have been searching for this song for close to 8 years. I finally found it today and it fits everything that I am feeling. I hope you enjoy it the way I did all those years ago and still do.